I just want to be as important as I put you in my world. Why do I try so hard when this world has always only given half back. Why do I expect the unexpected and hope I have hit the end of my rainbow finally. In the day I chase this rainbow and smile lots, to even words that don’t sound funny, I laugh in hopes I have hit the unexpected. I have only scratched the surface of what really is. So carry on I will, I will.
Why do I feel so alone when in reality I could easily be the girl with a million friends in a room. Have I closed these doors? I did. I am terrified of what I have learned, believed or dreamed in. I will fail…..but at the cost of my own fear. I know giving all I have would easily give me my dreams, and that is every aspect. Does my fear act as a cover for anxiety? When I have all these things you will free our pain, your heart will be beating a million beats per minute in awe of your amazing recovery. Your veins will un cripple and slowly your every current will show you who you are. You will be forced to feel.
My fear of unknown has closed many doors. Am I scarred to let go because now another? A not planned another to be brought in… where will she fit? Now to figure out the part of the puzzle that she is in, and make it all combine. I’ll take you along with, my little miss, just still getting to know you…
That anger spills and boils royal red and explodes on you like a volcanic eruption only nature can create. This is in my nature, and I am looking at the marks of it all over you. Do you feel my emotions on you? Are you of my kind? Can you sense the feelings? Are you timed? Have you become heartless and not seeing the signs? I wear my sign and spell large, clearly you read my language? I feel that there is so much more to say, but until you can follow even the most easiest of roads I have paved, I will silently continue to build the anger felt…. and wait for another anticipated explosion. Maybe this will be the one that changes you.
I have no other way to speak of my inner emotions. This metaphorical land of craziness is what I understand and how I typically speak to myself subconsciously. Cheers!